As lesbians and queer women, most of us had no one to teach us how to date wisely and love well.
So it's not surprising (and not a personal failing) if you...
- Find dating awkward or terrifying, or have no idea how to start.
- Have gotten into relationships that started out amazing, but ended in disconnection, anger and heartbreak.
- Have sometimes questioned whether love is even worth it - does it always have to be so hard?
- Feel afraid of spending the rest of your life alone, but also clear that you don't want to settle for a bad relationship.
- Fear that your "picker" may be broken - you always choose the wrong women.
- Worry that your standards are too high, or you're being unrealistic.
- Aren't sure you even know what you most want in a relationship.
- Hope that the right woman for you must be out there somewhere, but have no idea how to find her, or whether you ever will.
If any of this sounds familiar, you're in the right place.
If any of this sounds familiar, you're in the right place! These questions, fears and doubts are a sign that you've been traveling the dating & relationship highways without a clear map. The Roadmap Course can help you change that.
Created by the co-founders of Conscious Girlfriend, Dr. Ruth L. Schwartz and Dr. Michelle Murrain, this unique, comprehensive online course combines cutting-edge tools from neuroscience, psychology and spirituality to help you learn how to prepare for, find and sustain happy, healthy lesbian love -- not just for the first few weeks or months, but for the rest of your life if that's what you want.
Over 12 weeks, the Roadmap Course will take you step by step through the processes of:
- Preparing for a relationship (which includes healing from past relationships, and knowing what you really want.)
- Gaining the emotional and communication skills you need to bring to the relationship of your dreams.
- Getting crystal-clear on your deal-breakers and must-haves, so you'll be able to tell Ms. Right from Ms. Wrong!
- Learning all about chemistry and compatibility, how they work, and what truly matters most (there are some surprises here for most women!)
- Understanding how to recognize "red flags" when you're dating, and what to do about them.
- Getting comfortable with the vulnerability and excitement of dating, while remaining connected to yourself and your vision - so that you can meet new women with curiosity, clarity and confidence.
- Nitty-gritty dating tools, tips and strategies. Best practices for meeting women online - or offline. What to do, and what not to do, on a first date - and beyond.
- What to do when you think you've found her! How to go about laying a strong foundation for the relationship of your dreams.
NEWS FLASH: RELATIONSHIPS DON'T HAVE TO BE HARD
Why are (lesbian) relationships so hard?
We get this question all the time.
Actually, relationships between people of any gender(s) are often hard, actually, because as human beings, we're wired to love and need connection - and also to freak out when we're afraid the connection may 1) suffocate us, or 2) get taken away. But lesbian relationships do have some special challenges.
Will she be able to see and love you the way you are? Will who you are, including all your quirks and flaws, be okay with her? Will she stand by you when things are tough? Will she give you space when you need it? Will she tolerate your mistakes and shortcomings, and be grateful for your strengths and gifts? Will she be able to praise and appreciate you much more than she criticizes you?
And, will you be able to do the same for her?
And will the two of you be able to voice your feelings, navigate different needs, and deal with whatever life throws at you peacefully, respectfully, and in ways that keep the love and good feelings growing?
And will the two of you be able to share lots of sweetness, affection and/or mind-blowing, passionate sex, in ways and amounts that work for both of you?
OK, all of this can certainly be challenging. Yet, when you know how to both find and be the right partner, it gets a whole lot easier.
The thing is, most of us never got taught the essential skills we need to be able to do this dance in a way that works well for us. You probably didn't learn how from your parents; most of our parents didn't know. (And even if your parents did have an excellent relationship, that still may not have taught you how to create that with another woman...)
You certainly haven't learned these skills from mainstream culture, books, movies, pop music, celebrity gossip. In fact, our culture tends to focus on the most unsustainable, drama-filled representations of love - the "You are my everything," "I'll die if you leave me" models, which might make for compelling movies, but don't make for happy lives.
And, you might also be suffering from the effects of homophobia, shame, coming out late in life, or other occupational hazards of having a sexual preference outside the mainstream.
Yet, despite the dearth of good role models for happy, healthy lesbian relationships (and happy, healthy relationships in general), nourishing, joyful, trust-filled, passionate long-term love really is possible. It just takes learning how.
And that's what the Roadmap Course will help you do.
In the process of becoming a Conscious Girlfriend, you'll learn how to be more compassionate - both toward others, and most especially toward yourself.
You'll learn new communication skills, and new ways of understanding and working with your emotions.
And you'll learn how to look for a woman who also has these skills, or who is genuinely open to learning them.
It's not rocket science, but it does take work. Yet it's some of the most worthwhile work you will ever do in your life. The rewards are absolutely, totally and completely worth it - as you become able to feel good about yourself, date with clarity and confidence, and replace hurt and anger with harmony and trust.
And the same skills will also help you in all your non-romantic relationships, too. Our participants report dramatic changes in their relationships with family members, friends, co-workers - and, most importantly, with themselves.
Once you've thoroughly learned the Roadmap skills, relationships don't have to be hard!
NOW, ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP OF YOUR DREAMS...
Do you want someone with whom you can share the small daily moments - a good cup of tea, a garden, a movie, snuggling on the couch? Or someone with whom you can climb mountains, surf waves, travel the world, and continue to challenge yourself on all levels?
Or do you want both... or something else?
Some women we work with want a fairly traditional relationship: living together, sleeping in the same bed every night, and largely socializing together.
Others want more autonomy, like living together but having separate rooms, or perhaps not living together at all. Some women are even happy in long-distance relationships.
Maybe you're committed to monogamy - or maybe you prefer polyamory. Maybe you're more into affection than sex - or maybe you're extremely sexual.
Whatever your vision is, there's someone out there for you. But it's so important to know what you want when you're dating!
Regardless of the specifics, almost all of us want a relationship that is nurturing, trusting and accepting. Someone who really listens to you, who's "got your back," you celebrates your successes, supports you through the tough times - and maybe, if you're lucky, even makes you laugh.
But how do you get there? Is it really possible?
Most of the Roadmap students start the course feeling frustrated, discouraged or scared. Many feel they just don't know how to meet women... or else they meet women all the time, but not the right women!
Many are afraid there's something about them that's just too broken for the kind of relationship they want. They're scared of getting rejected.
If you've got concerns like these, you're in the right place.
The Roadmap will teach you how to heal, what to look for, and what to do.
HOW THE ROADMAP CAN HELP YOU
Imagine trying to take a long road trip without a map or GPS. You'd take a lot of wrong turns!
That's exactly what has happened for most of us in our love lives. We simply didn't have the map to help us get where we wanted to go.
That's why the Roadmap Course gives you:
- A clear, proven, step-by-step process to help you navigate the dating process with clarity and confidence, find a compatible partner, and then lay a strong foundation for lasting love.
- Powerful tools and processes based on cutting-edge neuroscience - learn to change your brain!
- A supportive online community of lesbians and queer women from all over the world, who want a conscious relationship as much as you do and are also committed to learning how to find and create that kind of love.
- A foundation of self-love and self-compassion which you can build on every day, and which will transform all of your relationships, including the one you have 24/7 with yourself.
Hear from other Roadmap participants in their own voices here!