Dear Conscious Girlfriend,
My name is Prashant, and I live in India. India is a country where love is everywhere, but with boundaries. I fell in love with a girl who is Muslim by religion, and I am a Hindu. Since my childhood, I never believed in being divided by caste or religion. From birth, love has been my religion. But in India, marriage between a Hindu and a Muslim is next to impossible, even for a man and a woman.
My relationship with my girlfriend was great. We loved each other truly, and we were committed. But in India, girls do not break up with you for a man, they breakup with you for their parents. That’s what happened with us. I will never understand why some communities value religion over love.
It has been two months since my girlfriend left me. I don’t blame her. Sometimes we have to pay for our ancestors’ deeds.
– Prashant in India
Thank you for writing to share your story. I’m so sorry to hear your partner broke up with you because of her parents and religion. That is heartbreaking, and it’s also such an old story – it has happened for thousands of years, not only with female lovers but of course with male-female and male-male couples too.
Like you, I hope that someday human beings will grow mature and wise enough to live by the truth that love IS what matters most.
I know that in a country like India, the idea of not shaming one’s family is taken very seriously. So I can understand there must have been a tremendous amount of pressure on your partner. It’s beautiful that you understand that too, rather than blaming her.
But rather than paying for our ancestors’ deeds, I think sometimes it’s our job in life to do what our ancestors might have wished to do – even if they couldn’t manage to do it. These days lesbians can love each other so much more openly – at least in much of the world – than our foremothers could ever have imagined. So perhaps we can best honor them by choosing love in a way that they (sometimes) could not.
I sincerely hope your partner will find the inner strength to follow her heart and come back to you, even if it means disappointing her parents. And if she doesn’t, I also hope you will find the strength to love another woman just as deeply – and receive her full, proud, unashamed love in return!
Yours in global love,